alright maybe I am not the best person to judge this issue, but anyway, my friend is organising his 21st birthday party this Saturday, its kinda a last min thing but to say the truth I am a bit upset and disappointed with my another friend who can't attend

I give him the benefit of the doubt that he's really not free but at least he could have dropped by after his event since he says he will be free after 8 and we will probably be staying overnight at the birthday boy's house. but all he said was "nah I don't think I can make it", to say the truth, I don't know what he will be doing on Saturday but to totally turn down an invitation for 21st birthday without even considering? I don't know what to make of it really.

today i witness the departure of the head of department, while i never get to interact much with him, i can certainly tell he is a great man and great leader, i wish him all the best in his future endeavors.

Need no reminder, tomorrow is Monday =\

Just a song before I go to bed.

Good night :)

I'm still waiting

I am hardly a believer, but I need a miracle, I can wait for it, but I need it, the people upstairs, you do know why I need it, don't you?

I admit, sudden change of event can really kill off my mood.

I remember you said "eat fast food die faster!" while I was eating long john, and I almost thought you were around and you would nag the hell out of me, but its not meant to be

After such a long time (well, at least for me), I am back in blogging for the time being, I couldn't help but start my revival with a rather... you know, anti-happy post, but still I have to do it, to convey some message, even if that somebody isn't gonna read it.

So.. Life is, well, same, still a mess, still the same mess as few days back (and probably more), but I am still living, and isn't it good in a way? The only thing I realize is that, bragging ain't getting you anywhere, so, just live with it.

Anyway, recently I've been watching this show...

下一站，幸福

最近才刚看完的一部片，虽然算是旧片了吧，不过故事写的很好，连我这种人也迫不及待地看完呢。我想，戏里的幸福应该是所有人所奢望的吧？不过，终究是戏，而我们这些人，又有多少能够真正的幸福呢。

Even deserts rain at times, and the sky is not sun shiny 24/7, so its obvious that me, a mere human, is vulnerable to emotion sadness.

I am sad, disappointed, with a bit of anger , I didn't expect out of all the people I know, you would hurt me.

I cry for many nights.

For the first few nights, I cried cause I was sad.

For the next few nights, I cried cause I was disappointed.

I cried then, cause I was in despair.

And now? I still cry occasionally, I still feel the sadness and the disappointment and whatever you can think of, but it's more like I'm crying for the sake of crying.

I am hurt pretty badly when few days after we said that "we will continue to talk for everyday", all these happen just so suddenly.

I am shattered into pieces when that night, I begged for your answer, asking you to say something, you simply didn't care, you wasn't even moved, not even a word coming from you.

It makes me feels so insignificant, I don't know when have I become so insignificant to you, or was I ever significant to you? It doesn't even matter now, right?

All the good memories that I have with you, come back to haunt me everyday everynight everymoment of my life.

I can never expect that, for someone who was once hurt so badly like you, for someone who was taught the pain of being left alone like you, would come and hurt me.

I do not know what to say of this, but thanks to you (with no hint of sarcasm) , I think I somehow lost the sense of care in me, I am able to go out alone now, in fact, I rather be alone, I am able to take it when people ignore me, I do not rely on others that much anymore, cause I know there is no point in expecting things from people around me when they will disappoint me one day.

Don't get me wrong, I have not become a robot, I still enjoy when I am with people, I still laugh when people joke, I still cry when there's sadness, but it's just that I don't want to care anymore, or rather, I can't seem to care anymore even when I want to. Afterall, I don't see the need to do it.

Thanks.