Oh, and I forgot to mention yesterday. I passed! Just 10 points thou, but well, make do with it!

That's it, tomorrow's the day. I'm aiming for 0 points!

Damn I'm turning old, one hour of L4D2 and my head was literally spinning.

MD MD MD MD MD MD MD YOU HAVE ALREADY ORD-ED!

god its like. 2 weeks already and i cant quite get over it, no dont get me wrong, i am glad this is over. but sometimes, some part of me wish i could still wear this uniform, wake up outrageously early, complain all the way to bus stop, fall asleep in 132, and crawl all the way to office to see the familiar and lovely faces.

i miss them.

its not like i've got nothing to look forward to, just 3 more weeks and its another stage of my life. i cant wait. but i miss army.

such contradiction.

that other would say im crazy for missing army so much.

but hey, heck it, i do!

One day, bad day

So I've just watched the movie version of "One day", and I gotta say, it does absolutely NO justice to its book. It sucks so bad that I gotta quit it half way.

Anyone out there?

Been long since I last post, and I've only just realized that I didn't blog for the whole of June, now that's something. Anyway, the blog title isn't meant to display emo-ness, but rather, just a call to anyone, ya know.

To my imaginary friends out there (ok this part sounds real depressing), I'm gonna ORD in a few days' time, which means I'm finally done with NS. It's strange because I thought I should be feeling all excited and stuffs but I'm having this nostalgic feeling even thou I have yet to ORD! I never thought I would say this 2 years ago but I only just realized that I really love the army, whether 2 years is too long or not is debatable. I've certainly gained a lot, in ways that words can never describe (which is a more convenient way of me saying, "na I'm too lazy to spell them out")

I hope I don't get anymore emotional on that day.

This friday. 4pm. one of the biggest event in my life. gotta do well. gotta leave no regrets.

i shall try to avoid my flirtatious relationship with death from now on.

People always tell each other "why don't you think from my shoes?"

For me, I will try not to say that, because it is selfish to ask others to think from your shoes since most of the time, I don't.

And since conflicts arise from the lack of "thinking from one another's shoes". If you fail to, why should I?

Fucking Childish

Fucking Irresponsible

Me, Myself, and I

Ok, I think it's kind of lame for me to say that there's no need for me to explain myself in the previous post and here I am creating one to clear up some general doubts about me, but since I am kind of free and bored right now so why not?

So I'm gonna name some of those things that people label me as, and I'm gonna explain it. Here goes;

1) HE IS A SORE LOSER

I have come to notice that this is the most common (negative) thing that people would label me as, this is especially obvious when I'm in a team sports. Well, really, it all depends on what's your definition of a loser. For me, winning is not everything, but it IS something, I hate to lose, but when I've lost I will accept my loss.

I admit here I could be a bit fierce when I'm in a game, but it's all within the game, and out of it I'm fine, even if I had a run-in with you during the game, I'm absolutely fine afterwards, cause what happened in the game, stays in the game. I play to win, and hence I'm serious.

To add on to the line "I could be a bit fierce", I have to argue that its not all the time, for me to be fierce towards you, you must have done something to trigger me. And more often than not it is cause of your insincerity/lack of commitment (will be explained in point 2 later on) that would lead me to that .

An extra thing to mention is that, I hate people that say "it's just a game" and acted like they couldn't care less after they have lost (and tried so hard during the game), cause to me it's bullshit. No person in the right mind would go into a game without the mentality of winning, part of what makes sports interesting is the desire to win from both parties.

I do understand thou, when people come and tell me that "it's just a game so relax", my answer to that would be, "yea I know it's a game, but at the very least try to play and not give in sloppy performances and that half fucked attitude, cause you will truly enjoy the game when you put your heart into it, and the attitude will just naturally come along"

All in all, I personally think that I accept defeat well, I hate to lose, but that doesn't make me a loser in my eyes. However, if by hating to lose would make you classify me as a loser, I can't be bothered much about it either. Afterall, you don't really lose when you lose a game (contradicting I know), but you will be the REAL loser if you enter into a game and don't give a shit about it.

2) HE DOES NOT ACCEPT ERROR

Well, this one is very much related to (1), again, it's all about your heart. To me, sincerity plays a huge part in determining whether one is worth forgiving or not, you will come to realize that.

Take for instance, I hate latecomers (as in really hate that kind), but I will be able to understand if you notify me around 20-30mins earlier that you will be late. I am unable to tolerate those people that does not make an effort to notify me and let me waited there like an idiot. There is a difference.

However, if you are always late, notify me or not, it will still get on my nerves, and I think this is pretty much reasonable.

3) HE IS ARROGANT

I admit to this wholeheartedly actually, but still I have to explain. Like some people observed, I tend to believe that my idea/theory is the right one, and that when people say that I'm wrong I will stood up to my theory firmly.

I agree to this, what people do not know is that. I do admit my mistake, the tough part to this is that, you will have to explain to me where did I go wrong. I mean, it is tough to accept you are wrong when people come up to your face and say "you're wrong" and that's that! I think I do not have to explain too much on this point do I?

4) HE IS UNFORGIVING

I beg to differ on this, I think the right statement to describe me is that "I forgive easily but I do not forget". Everytime I enter into an argument, 99.9% of the time, I would forgive the person after a short while (and when I said short while I meant REALLY short while). However, I do not forget, it is something that I am programmed with, in fact, that's what everyone is programmed with.

5) HE IS TOO DIRECT AND HATES PEOPLE THAT BEAT AROUND THE BUSH

Well... no argument on this, I admit I am a very direct person, sometimes too direct for others' good, so if I somehow hurt you before, I apologise and I did not mean to hurt you.

Obviously being a direct person would make me hate an indirect person, now I have to say that being indirect is different from being shy or introvert, I am not into explaining the differences as it would take quite an effort to do that.

However, despite that, I do admit that there are things that you do not feel comfortable in telling me, and hence I am fine if you choose not to say, and it would be even better if you could tell me you are feeling uncomfortable in telling me things (most of the time you don't have to, I'm not that dumb). But what irks me are those people that play the "play hard to catch game", meaning people that wanted to say something but decided last minute against telling me, usually ending with a "it's nothing".

5) HE IS HEARTLESS

I will have to disagree on that point, before I decided to drop something/someone, it always pains me greatly. However, once I've decided to let go, I will not ever look back, hence why I am heartless. 拿得起，难放下。放下了，就不再去管了

Sometimes I may intentionally go all out to hurt someone, but that is after that particular someone had done similar to hurt me and if words can't get through to them how much it hurts, then only actions will.

Let's just say that I'm a typical cancerian that likes that hide in its cover, but a special one that knows how to use it's pincer to great use.

I guess that's all for now, I will update more in the future, should I come against more claims towards me.

See you!

i've realized that throughout my life, i have often been misunderstood, and i always felt the need to explain. the truth is, there really isnt much need for that, cause if the person trusts you, he will never misunderstand you, and if he doesnt trust you, then what's the whole point of explaining?

"

還需要多久　多長　多傷
你才會聽見我沒說的話
堅強像謊言一樣　不過是一種偽裝
我只希望有個機會能被你愛上

不論要多久　多長　多受傷
我還是愛著你　每分每秒一樣
就好像一個傻瓜　對著那空氣說話
等著被你愛上

"

好美，好伤的歌词

valentine's day is coming, the day to share your love. if you were only given a chance to say "i love you" to just one person on that day, who will it be?

What am I really?

"There's a very minor crack in your ankle bones, however it will not affect your daily life, it's really really small"

That's what the doc told me, but then, it still kind of suck knowing something in you is broken.

I really wish I could do more, and that maybe I were born differently at times.

I'm too old to realize that new year resolution is nothing but a myth, or rather I am too lazy to actually stick to a year long plan, however despite so, I guess it is important for me to set a target to jog 30mins at least twice per week!