went for a jog, partly because i havent been running for a long, long time, mainly because, i ought to distress.

i like the feeling when im jogging, you know, blasting songs into your ears, jogging at high speed, it makes you feel lost, and thats exactly what i want to feel since i just want to get outta this world, even if its just for a brief moment.

until now, i still cant digest the fact that there is some potential problem with my heart (the ecg scan says so), it shocks me, and hits me hard.

"why me?"

i mean like, c'mon, out of all the things, its my heart. i can run 10km without breaking a sweat, so why me? this is the question that has been circulating in my mind for quite a while

i can think of 100, or 1000 reasons to make myself believe that im fine, but mingde, you got to face it, results dont lie, do they?

until further tests are conducted, there will be no definite answer to how bad my heart is

but well, i've accepted this

na, acceptance is NOT = to giving up

i've accepted that, there will be problem with my heart

and no matter how big or small the problem is

as long as my heart is still beating

even if it means only 50% of it is functioning

i will be living

even if im gonna lose this, im gonna put up a good fight

and if my heart ever stops, i know that i wont be dead

because i will be living, somewhere, in others' hearts.