Sensitive? Insensitive?

"Can you guys be more sensitive?" I believe some of the guys have been hearing this for quite a number of time, but the truth is, it is not too good to be sensitive, i assure you on that.

Thou i may not look like it, nor act like it, nor sound like it, it is safe to say im an emotional and sensitive person. To be honest, i dont like myself this way, because i think that it is ALWAYS better to miss out the small things, because those little things are the ones that hurt you greatly.

For example, i am jealous of my best friend, he is a very popular guy among his peers, and whenever theres an outing, he will be one of the first few person on the list, i dont hate him, not a tiny bit (obviously if not why i rate him as my best friend). But i just feel jealous, cuz i will never be like him.

just to name an incident, not long ago, one of our friend called "us" out to chill, that friend didnt call me actually, but my best friend did ask me along, i meet up with the guys before my best friend did, so the guy who called "us" out was saying that he's damn bored and he tried to call every possible person that he can go out with.

"he missed me out" my first thought, you cant fault me for thinking this way, its just natural, i guess.

so i asked him casually, "walau ask everyone never ask me la"

his reply was, "i forgot, i called everyone but forgot about you leh, if i remember i sure call one"

the thing is, he forgot, i didnt say he did it on purpose, infact, the fact that he forgot accidentally makes it more hurting because i wasnt even on his mind when he was thinking who to call.

Whenever theres an outing, i must surely check with the organizer about the meeting time and venue because i know, that if i dont do that, no one will inform me (dont tell me to be pessimistic because it IS proven). What amazes me is that the more popular one (e.g. my best friend), he will get notified automatically, dont ask me why, if i know, i wouldnt be blogging about this.

There were other times as well la, i just dont feel like mentioning them, the post can go damn long if i want to write them all out.

The bottomline is, it kind of hurts this way, and what makes it even more sucky is that not a lot are experiencing it.

So how would you feel if you went to ask around if anyone want to share money for a birthday present, only to realise that everyone BUT YOU had shared money to buy a birthday present?

I dont know how you guys will feel but to me, i wont feel im part of them, and it kind of turn me off, its just the way my mind works. You guys may be thinking "WTF" upon hearing this statement, but meh, this hardly happened to you so..

It's not like I am having financial problem, not like im some stingy bastard who doesnt want to pay a cent, and whats more EVERYONE BUT ME? i dont know how else to emphasize this.

and everytime this kinda thing happens, i can only sigh and tell myself

"this is life, and life is not always fair"

PS:

1) to best friend, just taking you as an example, hope you dont mind (provided you know who you are la)
2) this post is indeed triggered by an event that just happened, but well it is NOT just talking about that event, but this part of my life.
3) no im not being emo, i just feel like confessing, thats all