ITS POLYMPICS TOMORROW.

gonna give a good, GOOD shot

Alright, I have finally completed my 1000 words fact sheet, i find it crappy thou =\

right, finally found it, the song i always listen to on radio but couldnt figure out the name, nice, sweet and catchy song.

on a sidenote, MINGDE PLEASE START DOING YOUR 1000 WORDS FACTSHEET!

Sensitive? Insensitive?

"Can you guys be more sensitive?" I believe some of the guys have been hearing this for quite a number of time, but the truth is, it is not too good to be sensitive, i assure you on that.

Thou i may not look like it, nor act like it, nor sound like it, it is safe to say im an emotional and sensitive person. To be honest, i dont like myself this way, because i think that it is ALWAYS better to miss out the small things, because those little things are the ones that hurt you greatly.

For example, i am jealous of my best friend, he is a very popular guy among his peers, and whenever theres an outing, he will be one of the first few person on the list, i dont hate him, not a tiny bit (obviously if not why i rate him as my best friend). But i just feel jealous, cuz i will never be like him.

just to name an incident, not long ago, one of our friend called "us" out to chill, that friend didnt call me actually, but my best friend did ask me along, i meet up with the guys before my best friend did, so the guy who called "us" out was saying that he's damn bored and he tried to call every possible person that he can go out with.

"he missed me out" my first thought, you cant fault me for thinking this way, its just natural, i guess.

so i asked him casually, "walau ask everyone never ask me la"

his reply was, "i forgot, i called everyone but forgot about you leh, if i remember i sure call one"

the thing is, he forgot, i didnt say he did it on purpose, infact, the fact that he forgot accidentally makes it more hurting because i wasnt even on his mind when he was thinking who to call.

Whenever theres an outing, i must surely check with the organizer about the meeting time and venue because i know, that if i dont do that, no one will inform me (dont tell me to be pessimistic because it IS proven). What amazes me is that the more popular one (e.g. my best friend), he will get notified automatically, dont ask me why, if i know, i wouldnt be blogging about this.

There were other times as well la, i just dont feel like mentioning them, the post can go damn long if i want to write them all out.

The bottomline is, it kind of hurts this way, and what makes it even more sucky is that not a lot are experiencing it.

So how would you feel if you went to ask around if anyone want to share money for a birthday present, only to realise that everyone BUT YOU had shared money to buy a birthday present?

I dont know how you guys will feel but to me, i wont feel im part of them, and it kind of turn me off, its just the way my mind works. You guys may be thinking "WTF" upon hearing this statement, but meh, this hardly happened to you so..

It's not like I am having financial problem, not like im some stingy bastard who doesnt want to pay a cent, and whats more EVERYONE BUT ME? i dont know how else to emphasize this.

and everytime this kinda thing happens, i can only sigh and tell myself

"this is life, and life is not always fair"

PS:

1) to best friend, just taking you as an example, hope you dont mind (provided you know who you are la)
2) this post is indeed triggered by an event that just happened, but well it is NOT just talking about that event, but this part of my life.
3) no im not being emo, i just feel like confessing, thats all

I had the first of the two heart tests today, the results were fine, better than good if i should say, fingers crossed for my next test next month :)

Had a go in dialogue in the dark, for more details check it out on here;

http://www.dialogue-in-the-dark.com/venues-worldwide/singapore/

I am not too sure if you will consider the pricing cheap, my whole trip lasts for an hour, then again i manage to get in cause of my IS module, maybe the $12 package is different? i dunno. nonetheless, it is definitely an experience worth trying.

as its name suggests, you will be put in a dark place, a maze to be exact, there will be a blind guide inside you to guide u through, u will experience how it feels like to be blind.

to be frank, i dont like the feeling of it, i feel totally insecure, even when the blind guide assure me the floor is definitely flat, i keep wondering if i will trip over something. the things around you dont feel like the way you think it is, the orange, when only touch and smells, feels like something else.

or maybe, we are too used to seeing what we see?

oh great, just after the heart problem, now i found out i've got a wisdom tooth, couldnt come at a better time -.-

went for a jog, partly because i havent been running for a long, long time, mainly because, i ought to distress.

i like the feeling when im jogging, you know, blasting songs into your ears, jogging at high speed, it makes you feel lost, and thats exactly what i want to feel since i just want to get outta this world, even if its just for a brief moment.

until now, i still cant digest the fact that there is some potential problem with my heart (the ecg scan says so), it shocks me, and hits me hard.

"why me?"

i mean like, c'mon, out of all the things, its my heart. i can run 10km without breaking a sweat, so why me? this is the question that has been circulating in my mind for quite a while

i can think of 100, or 1000 reasons to make myself believe that im fine, but mingde, you got to face it, results dont lie, do they?

until further tests are conducted, there will be no definite answer to how bad my heart is

but well, i've accepted this

na, acceptance is NOT = to giving up

i've accepted that, there will be problem with my heart

and no matter how big or small the problem is

as long as my heart is still beating

even if it means only 50% of it is functioning

i will be living

even if im gonna lose this, im gonna put up a good fight

and if my heart ever stops, i know that i wont be dead

because i will be living, somewhere, in others' hearts.

i've always feel that my heart is shattered, it couldnt be more right since even medical reports suggest that my heart has got a problem

medical exam tomorrow, wondering am i healthy =\

PS: i prefer to hear you say "me and him" than "me and you"

i find it pretty amusing that, when i finally decided to sleep early, one by one people come and ask me things, and they come in sequence -.- and i am dragged 30 mins cuz of this.

better rush off before another 1 come asking!

Redcamp is bad, bad, BAD

no one in the right mind will find that the idea of using satay sticks and straws to form a roller coaster is fun, NO ONE!

on another hand, i am mistaken as a japanese by the taxi driver O_O, thats new, lol!

and lastly, this world is damn unfair, i mean, ronaldo and drogba have been diving like god-knows-how-many times yet they receive little punishments, people like eduardo and n'gog dived once and the whole world is going against them? wtf

once a fool, always a fool.

i believe that love is based on feeling rather than logics, and for that reason i will dive in even if it means im jumping into something that's unpredictable, afterall, life is always like this, isnt it?

有时，真的会打从心底为你感到伤心

I find that, sometimes, when you really put your mind into believing that you can do something, you can really do it despite finding it really impossible initially.

Never thought i can totally ignore this person, mind power is a strong thing.

Yea, I have blocked you, and got rid of you, if you'd give a damn, you would've done something ages ago, so ya.

Bye

ah see, i've got a new blog skin =)

ok this is really the kind of conversation that can REALLY get on my nerves:

me: "wad did u say ar?"
x: "nth la"

error no.1 : you SAID something

me: "just say"
x: "aiya, nth big la"

error no.2 : can just repeat?

me: "alright, juz say wont u?"
x: "its really nth de"

error no.3 : IF ITS REALLY NOTHING THEN IT WONT HURT SAYING AGAIN RIGHT?!

药吃了感觉不好你会继续吃吗？
鞋穿了脚会很痛你会继续穿吗？
杯坏了底会漏水你会继续用吗？
用你头脑想想好不好？

把一些没有用的东西放在家里，
等待着有一天有人会把它用完，
浪费位子。

与其这样，不如把它扔了更好？

一群笨蛋

hi well, im feeling damn sad, and the obvious reason is that liverpool just lost to fulham, like c'mon man, no offense to fulham fans but, lose to fulham? damn

school's okay, WISP is a bitch, why must i be researching on H1N1? all i care is to get my ass away from that damn virus, and now i need to look at it from singapore's perspective eh, double damn

nazir is being such a bum again, he can come late for class, but damn even online quiz he can make a fuss out of it, promise to activate it on saturday morning, and whats the time now? triple damn

ok, enough of ranting, thats about it, hopefully next post will be in better tone, *fingers crossed* =\

iszi too late for me to catch you now?