im not good im not good im not good at all. i hate the state im in now, i hate to even talk about it, i keep trying to sleep so that i will suffer less, but i have been crying, i cant seem to cheer up, im damn lost, i need help but i dont know what sort of help i need, i dunno what to write on here to express how or what i am feeling now i just feel like typing on forever and ever, at least it keeps my mind occupied, why cant i stop crying why cant i act like a man why am i so freaking weak over all these. fuck all this.