If I lie on the ground, look at the bright blue sky, and allow my mind to wander off like the big white clouds up there, would my sorrow be gone too?

So these few days im feeling extremely fucked up (and still am actually).

basically i was placed to a lie test and i was totally exposed like i've never been.

i get to dig up all the secrets i've buried and it doesnt feel good at all.

shit happens in life but this is too much of a thing to handle.

Have you ever wondered who you are?

what you are?

a creature?

a monster?

or a totally different entity?

That the only thing that makes you sure you are a human is that you are residing in a human shell?

Then you aint alone

I've just realized that, hypnotizing yourself that "its gonna be okay" wont make much difference

如果看不懂才叫艺术，那艺术的存在又有何价值呢？

some liken me to a sun, sunny and bright as one, i wont deny that, but few actually remember that the sun has its break behind dark clouds at times too.

so these few weeks ive been escorting some workers who work on a room.

it amazed me how long it took to build a room, yet it only takes around a few mins to destroy a building.

i guess we should all treasure what we have achieved and not let it go down to waste, because the truth is for all you know, it could be gone in an instance.

i saw a cat just now after my soccer session, its white, with round black eyes, upon seeing me, it lies down on the floor, as if inviting me to caress it. i was taught not to touch any stray cats for fear of all the bacteria and germs, but it was too cute to say no. i played with it for a while before i went off reluctantly.

all in all, i cant understand how some people like to abuse cats and dogs, its just damn sick.

PS:

Its hard to get the best of both worlds

but its even harder to give both worlds the best of me

so today i was escorting 3 people around the building to fix up some cables, and then this incident happened;

the manager was walking around and he saw the 3 people, curious about what they are doing, he started to ask the colleagues in the room what those 3 are doing when one of the 3 is like right beside him, and another one walked past him.

this suddenly reminds me of my work experience back then in a shipping company (i was in admin department thou), it was my first day there and i can hear people sitting around me start asking their colleagues "who's this new guy", one even go as far as shouting across the room "who's this guy ar"

i dont know man, but i think its pretty stupid to do this, because if you dont know about this thing, theres a good chance that the person beside you wont know as well.

but what worries me the most is that it shows how enclosed some people really are, or rather, the lack of willingness to explore/venture into something new.

maybe we should take more initiatives.

I figured that a Sunday morning and heavy rain setting is the best condition to laze on the bed